Nicknames: Omni, Chief, J-Sizzle

Height: Three Tall Midgets Stacked Head to Toe

Weight: Exuberance

Blood Type: The Best Kind

Likes: Schooling Fools

Dislikes: Having to School Fools

Joel hails from Baker City, OR.

A long history of being badass lies in Joel's wake, and anybody worth their salt knows not to question him. A jack-of-all-trades, Joel is skilled in the arts of seduction, pinch harmonics, and underwater basket weaving. Joel has been playing guitar since he invented it in 1994. Since, he has been defending his role as rock god atop the great Mount Dread which lies somewhere in Canby, OR. Many-a-bitch have come to his doorstep in hopes of trouncing the rock god, but only few live to tell the tale. Fewer with all limbs in tact. He is also known for extracting pink mist from fools in Call of Duty 4 and CS:Source, and is eager to visit Madagascar for the first time.

Nicknames: V, Mr. X, Mr. Blonde, Quiz Boy

Height: 9' 13"

Weight: For No One

Blood Type: Hot

Likes: Un-stuffing Stuffed Animals

Dislikes: Cleaning Up Afterward

Steve also comes from Baker City, OR.

Women and sheep alike have tenaciously stalked the likes of Steve since before birth. His mother has reported folks following here, and whispering "You carry the one with you from the shadows." She also says his first words were "That's what she said." Steve works his ass off for a living, but also enjoys reading and caffeine. The physical demands of his line of work demand only the strictest of dietary regiments of cigarettes, coffee, and greatness. Steve will school you in Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 and insists that his light saber skills would make anyone weak in the knees. This author knows nothing of the power of his saber.

Nicknames: The Vessel, The Ironclad, Butters, BC

Height: Not Enough

Weight: 4 Metric Tons

Blood Type: SSS+

Likes: Magic

Dislikes: Stupid People

Brent grew up in Rocky Bay, WA.

Brent might be legally retarded. The jury is still out. He spends most his free time adventuring in the Micronesian bush, searching for lost treasures to add to his 'Adventure Medicine Cabinet'. Your mom last saw Brent last night. The Vessel comes... IN THE NIGHT! Brent enjoys testing the tensile strength of tight jeans, and telling epic tales. He has a white patch of hair on his face.

Nicknames: JD, The Absent Minded Professor

Height: Almost this tall to ride

Weight: 0 lbs in space

Blood Type: Omega 3

Likes: Swearing like a sailor

Dislikes: Not swearing like a sailor

JD joins us from a long search for the perfect Bassist. We gave up so he'll have to do! Rocking the Bass in perfect stoned bliss, we look forward to many a year telling our grandkids about this crazy mofo.